Why is it, we jump from one thing to the next, feel frustrated that there’s too much to do in a day, a never ending to do list that keeps building and then feel overwhelmed by it all?
For some of us, it’s more a feeling of guilt, even self loathing. Why did I drink so much, eat too much, waste time doing that thing, quit exercising … again?
I have used the common old modern day excuse many times myself; ‘Life is busier now’, or ‘I’m a working mum trying to make half decent healthy meals for the family.’
Consider it’s not that …
We are all trying to escape the uncomfortable feelings we don’t want to feel.
We look outwards, moving away from our ‘inner selves’, and avoid those unconscious painful emotions and feelings we would prefer to ignore.
We are trying to escape our lives by getting distracted by things outside of us.
I do it all the time.
I don’t like those icky feelings of boredom, nervousness, feeling not enough, anger, sadness, doing nothing, worry, and it plays out in quirky little ways.
Feeling out of control … I’ll tidy the house frantically.
Feeling bored … I’ll eat something or fret about what I should be doing next.
Feeling anxious … I’ll work harder, faster, be better.
Feeling worried … I’ll do more while complaining about others, get resentful and blame them.
Feeling nervous … talk alot or walk away and hide from ‘it’.
What do you do to avoid your icky feelings?
No wonder we don’t feel like we accomplish much some days!
We have all had those moments of ‘being in the zone, being in flow’ as it’s often called. Time seems to stop or fly by; we feel alive, unstoppable, have laser focus, yet feel relaxed and present.
So how do we change from being distracted and avoiding those uncomfortable feelings towards more of the laser focused stuff?
We start by allowing those feelings we usually deny, to just be. Notice the boredom, sit with it, observe it. See the urge to repress it or run from it and just breathe into it for a bit.
Observe the thoughts about what you are feeling, then let them go.
Sometimes this takes ten seconds, other times it may take ten minutes. There is no perfect formula.
Stronger emotions like rage, resentment, anxiety can be a little trickier. These can come from deep seated past experiences, trauma and held beliefs that may require more work.
Often addictions form from these unresolved parts of ourselves that we deny and repress.
Being busy is my favorite personal addiction and maybe a little sprinkling of worrying too.
It is best to start with the easier ones first, notice if you become a little more centered and actually begin to change some patterns and behaviours.
Remember to acknowledge yourself when you do stay on task and complete whatever it is you set out to achieve. This is equally important.
If you would like some coaching around doing the ‘inner work’ to break unhealthy ‘distractions’ and become that deeply fulfilled and laser focused human being you know you can be, get in touch for a complimentary session here.